


Black Pond

by Viridian5



Category: Smallville
Genre: Crack Fic, Fishing, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-01
Updated: 2001-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-02 07:17:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viridian5/pseuds/Viridian5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Clark and Lex go fishing, we're there with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black Pond

**Author's Note:**

> This one is Te's fault too. I was telling her that the narration at the beginning of _Black House_ by Stephen King and Peter Straub was plucking my "so twee I must fling the book at the wall" reflex and that soon I'd be sing-songing "Gentle reader"-style through my own work. Being Te, she begged me to do a parody by applying a _Black House_ veneer to "Clark and Lex go fishing." I know, I didn't have to _listen_, but....

We are right here in a little town named Smallville, once the creamed corn capital of the world, now the meteorite capital of the world. Or so the signs said. More precisely, we're hovering over a small pond surrounded by fields of corn waving in the Midwestern sunlight.

The pond, a destination long prized by the locals, ripples a deep blue-brown in the light breeze. But if we were to dive to the bottom of it, we might see more than fish. Down, down through the water we drift until we reach the bottom and notice that it's illuminated not just by beams of sunlight but also by the glowing green of rocks that traveled from a place far, far distant from this very common-seeming town.

These rocks, despite their, shall we say, _alien_ beauty, are not very nice at all.

We shall return to these rocks in a moment. Trust me on that.

As we float to the top and leave the wet grip of the pond behind us, we might notice two men sitting at its edge, though one is perhaps more properly a boy and the other not too far from the storied land of boyhood.

They appear to be a mismatched pair, but appearances can deceive in this small town. Oh yes.

The boy sits perfectly at ease with his rod in hand. No, not that rod. The other rod. Nearly glowing with a vitality not even youth can bestow, he lounges at the edge of the pond dressed in denim, flannel, and cotton. His thick, dark hair gleams in the sunlight, and even if we were to look closer at his large, doe eyes, we wouldn't be able to tell if they were blue, green, or gray.

If anyone were to look for a model of the unspoiled Kansas farmboy, this boy, Clark Kent, would surely be chosen as the one who easily outshone every other candidate. Innocence, _goodness_, all but radiate from him, attracting some and confusing many.

Of the pond's two human occupants, he's the one who looks like he'd been born and bred in Kansas, where we are right now. Though "human" might not be the proper designation for Clark after all. In any case, that's a matter for another day.

His fishing partner, one would hardly call him Clark's peer, sits nearby. Almost too near for propriety's sake, although one may chalk it up to a closeness fostered by the deep bond of friendship. One may, but we won't.

Looking at him, you get the sense that Lex Luthor, only son of the highly wealthy and highly reviled Lionel Luthor, heir to all the good and bad that came with that, tried to dress for a casual fishing outing. Perhaps a less savvy viewer hovering nearby as we are would be fooled. However, we know expensive brands when we see them. His vest alone costs more than all the clothing in Clark's closet. Not that that's saying all that much, truly. Lex wears his finery with an insouciance that renders it casual, mundane, though very little about Lex appears mundane. His pallid skin and smooth pate make him appear otherworldy amidst these common surroundings. Lean yet fit, he seems more at ease in his body than his more robust friend does in his.

More at ease in _his own_ body. Please. Our minds flit out of the gutter quickly.

Then Lex caresses his fishing rod in a manner that forces our minds to dive back into the gutter. His long fingers slide up and down its length slowly, slowly.... Not very nice of him, dammit. He mutters an ow! as we smack his shining bald head, and we laugh as he looks about for the culprit. Tease us, will you?

"Did you see something hit me?" he asks Clark.

"Lex, you're going mental," Clark responds.

They look at one another fondly and smile. Somewhere a clock ticks down the long moments they spend caught in one another's heated gaze, the only occupants of a gleaming world meant only for them. Having seen this before, we know how long this can take. Being unfortunately unable to see the private Technicolor visions in their minds, we know how excruciatingly boring it can be to watch and wait for them to return to the world we share. Thus, we take this opportunity to dive back down into the pond to observe the non-human residents of the area, who live out their lives and piscine dramas amidst the glowing green rocks we mentioned earlier and promised to readdress.

Those rocks that fell from the heavens 12 years ago and settled at the bottom here left their mark here on the generations of fish born since. Under the emerald influence of the meteorites, the fish not so much evolved as revolved, undergoing an incredibly rapid sea change. Their intelligence advanced, their lives fleeting yet fraught with purpose, they eliminated hunger and disease and created a culture for themselves that may be hidden even to us as we float here in the depths watching but that is nonetheless as rich as anything any air-breather ever established. In this thriving community of 512, most of the fish now regard the flash and dangle of baited hooks as insulting, and only daredevils and those who no longer wished to live bit at the gaudy false offerings.

But today, an irresistible hook is baited. An invisible hook.

Brbbble5 looks up at the light streaming through the dome of water above him and sees a vision. Beautiful pallor like the most delicate belly of the most exquisite example of his kind he'd ever seen. Refraction and the rippling of his watery home makes it impossible to make out more detail, but in that moment Brbbble5 loses his piscine heart. To an air-breather. Though you can forgive him for his reaction to Lex, because humans, animals, and even inanimate objects all wanted to be closer to him, drawn as inexorably as iron filings to his industrial-strength magnet.

In that moment Brbbble5 longs with all his being, and the green meteorites flash in luminescent answer. Wishes granted.

His beloved's bait drifts on a hook nearby, but Brbbble5 intends to set the rules of this encounter himself, closing his mouth hard on the line instead and tugging hard. We shoot skyward up, up, up following him as he is pulled from his liquid home, hearing the cries of "5! Don't! You have so much to live for!" bubbling behind us.

As we break the surface, Brbbble5 is momentarily stunned by the brightness and sharper edges of this other world, its different physical rules, but he soon sees the light and darkness of the one who inexorably drew him up here. Letting go of the line, he lets his own momentum drop him into the air-breather's lap, then looks up adoringly, not wondering even for a moment how it is that he can breathe outside the pond, for he understands the nature of the heaven rocks that fell and changed them all.

Perhaps you're scoffing at this very moment. Fish that talk and plan and breathe air. Impossible. Thus you prove yourself to be a stranger to these parts and too ignorant to be left to wander willy-nilly on your own. You might get hurt.

"Well," Clark says. "Even in Smallville that's not something you see every day. Maybe every other day...."

See?

"It's staring at me," Lex says.

"Since it doesn't have eyelids, it doesn't have much of choice. Once I tell Dad that the fish love you this much, he'll be inviting you to fish with us all the time."

Lex shakes his head. "There's something to look forward to." He jumps as Brbbble5 lovingly nuzzles his wrist.

Clark's amazingly appealing as he laughs. "That's disgusting." Though, eyes drawn to Lex's pale wrist, he helplessly wonders what it would be like to be the one nuzzling it.

"No, really?"

Fortunately, Brbbble5 can't understand English. However, he understands Clark's intent as the boy approaches Lex with his hands up. After all, Brbbble5 has seen the gesture for grabbing and killing fish many a time. Incensed at the thought of being separated from his love, he uses all the strength he possesses to fight back. Seeing as how he's a native of Smallville, that strength is considerable.

We quickly flit out of the way as Clark is bitch-slapped repeatedly by the super-strong fish's tail until he falls backward into the pond. Lex may have helped him if he hadn't been so surprised. Or laughing so hard that he could barely breathe.

As Clark paddles through the water, he can finally see and feel the rocks that rest at its bottom, leaving him weakened and struggling. Were those fish staring at him in surprise? We know that they are.

Leaping back up, we see Lex laughing until he realizes that Clark isn't getting back up. Instead, he floats face down, barely moving.... Standing up fast, Lex dislodges the bereft Brbbble5 and pulls Clark out by the back of his flannel shirt. Freed of the kryptonite-flavored water, returned to full, unlikely strength, Clark scrambles away from the dark pond and drags Lex with him. The sight of one fish bobbing up and down, staring at them, opening and closing its mouth in entreaties they can't hear, sends shivers down his muscular back.

"We're getting out of here," Clark says as he pulls Lex away.

"We should take the fish back with us. Study it."

"It's a super-strong mutant fish in love with you. Who knows how super-strong mutant fish mate?"

We can almost watch thoughts fly behind Lex's eyes, though we can't make any of their details out. "You're right."

As they walk away, occasionally glancing back, Lex wondering how mysterious, super-strong freshman boys mate and Clark wondering how mysterious, smooth-scalped LuthorCorp heirs mate, though neither will make a move to resolve their sexual tension just yet, a frustrated but undaunted Brbbble5 watches them go. Watches and hates.

Watches... and plans.

 

 

### End


End file.
